1
00:00:08,007 --> 00:00:12,297
我知道,這週有費爾菲爾德
分公司的人來,地方有點擠

2
00:00:12,303 --> 00:00:15,103
不過希望大家忍忍
畢竟年末審計需要

3
00:00:15,098 --> 00:00:18,518
大家把收入與支出報告做出來

4
00:00:18,518 --> 00:00:21,188
有什麼需要儘管來找我

5
00:00:30,947 --> 00:00:32,617
剛剛怎麼啦?

6
00:00:33,241 --> 00:00:35,831
是冷氣機,開機的時候會很吵

7
00:00:35,827 --> 00:00:37,617
嚇我一大跳

8
00:00:37,620 --> 00:00:40,290
我還以為是打雷呢

9
00:00:40,290 --> 00:00:42,710
我以為有卡車撞進來了

10
00:00:43,501 --> 00:00:45,631
我還以為是火山爆發

11
00:00:45,628 --> 00:00:46,918
不會吧?

12
00:00:47,881 --> 00:00:50,221
-你以為是火山爆發?
-是啊

13
00:00:54,763 --> 00:00:56,723
火山?紹斯菲爾德哪有火山?

14
00:00:57,640 --> 00:00:59,520
這人想象力好豐富哦

15
00:01:00,393 --> 00:01:03,233
好了各位,幹活了

16
00:01:03,772 --> 00:01:05,232
很好

17
00:01:06,566 --> 00:01:07,436
很棒的

18
00:01:23,291 --> 00:01:25,711
我還以為這是把小刀

19
00:01:25,710 --> 00:01:28,510
-哈?
-我以為這支筆是把刀

20
00:01:28,505 --> 00:01:29,835
就那種小匕首啊

21
00:01:31,508 --> 00:01:33,338
哦,哇

22
00:01:33,343 --> 00:01:35,053
我真這麼想的

23
00:01:50,902 --> 00:01:52,362
我以為這是個小皮條客喔

24
00:01:53,029 --> 00:01:54,779
就這隻熒光筆?

25
00:01:54,781 --> 00:01:57,661
我以為是個小皮條客在走來走去

26
00:02:06,292 --> 00:02:07,212
什麼鬼?

27
00:02:14,759 --> 00:02:17,179
-這是被燒過嗎?
-別再看來看去了!

28
00:02:25,728 --> 00:02:27,478
我還以為剛剛過去的是個尸體袋

29
00:02:27,480 --> 00:02:30,650
蘭道爾,公司裡怎麼可能會
有人運個尸體袋到處...

30
00:02:30,650 --> 00:02:33,820
-卡車撞進來就有可能啦?
-我當時這麼以為而已

31
00:02:33,820 --> 00:02:35,530
那我也是以為他運了個尸體袋啊!

32
00:02:35,530 --> 00:02:38,580
你以為有人拿個袋子裝了尸體

33
00:02:38,575 --> 00:02:41,035
然後一個個辦公室秀來秀去?

34
00:02:41,035 --> 00:02:42,995
是不是秀來秀去我就不知道了

35
00:02:42,996 --> 00:02:47,416
你又不知道我腦子裡都想的什麼
世界在我眼中就是這麼瘋狂的

36
00:02:47,417 --> 00:02:48,997
我看到一個東西

37
00:02:49,002 --> 00:02:52,462
想到的是別的,比如一個、一個...

38
00:02:52,463 --> 00:02:54,423
-想不到什麼吧
-想得到!

39
00:02:54,424 --> 00:02:55,884
-就是不敢說,怕得罪人!
-說啊

40
00:02:56,926 --> 00:02:58,386
-別這樣
-沒事,想到什麼?

41
00:02:58,386 --> 00:03:01,716
在座各位都很寬容的
你看見什麼就說嘛

42
00:03:01,723 --> 00:03:04,183
-我他媽看見一個雞雞
-怎麼回事?

43
00:03:04,183 --> 00:03:06,943
阿曼達說蘭道爾有想象力

44
00:03:06,936 --> 00:03:08,096
天啊

45
00:03:09,606 --> 00:03:10,896
過來一下好嗎?

46
00:03:14,277 --> 00:03:16,987
他說什麼,你絕對不能說好玩

47
00:03:16,988 --> 00:03:18,318
也不能說好

48
00:03:18,323 --> 00:03:21,203
不然他就會沒完沒了

49
00:03:21,200 --> 00:03:22,700
不停找東西來說了

50
00:03:22,702 --> 00:03:25,662
-好的,明白了,抱歉
-阿曼達

51
00:03:25,663 --> 00:03:27,753
千萬不能說蘭道爾有意思

52
00:04:10,541 --> 00:04:15,131
{\an8}劇名:太超過囖!
主演:提姆羅賓森

53
00:04:18,341 --> 00:04:20,681
太棒了!你們真的沒做過模特嗎?

54
00:04:22,971 --> 00:04:25,811
嘿,新娘來一張,新娘過來

55
00:04:25,807 --> 00:04:28,177
-好吧
-過來,人越多越好

56
00:04:28,184 --> 00:04:31,234
都想跟新娘合影啊,今晚主角喔

57
00:04:31,229 --> 00:04:34,359
-來嘛,爸爸,你也來
-你們自己玩吧

58
00:04:34,357 --> 00:04:37,237
來啦,快過來,不能拒絕新娘啊

59
00:04:37,235 --> 00:04:38,895
好吧

60
00:04:38,903 --> 00:04:41,033
大家看鏡頭

61
00:04:41,030 --> 00:04:44,740
我來倒數,大家看鏡頭,微笑

62
00:04:44,742 --> 00:04:47,002
好極,我自投羅網了

63
00:04:46,995 --> 00:04:50,705
-好啦老爸,你沒問題的啦
-多謝

64
00:04:50,707 --> 00:04:53,577
大家微笑喔,三、二、一

65
00:04:53,584 --> 00:04:55,344
喔,真不錯!

66
00:04:55,336 --> 00:04:57,006
個個都是專業的

67
00:04:57,005 --> 00:04:59,505
-算了吧
-再來張搞怪的

68
00:04:59,507 --> 00:05:00,877
都去拿一個道具

69
00:05:00,883 --> 00:05:02,183
做點搞怪表情

70
00:05:03,386 --> 00:05:05,676
好啦,拿道具

71
00:05:07,557 --> 00:05:09,017
好啦,開始囖

72
00:05:09,017 --> 00:05:13,097
記住要微笑,三、二、一

73
00:05:15,231 --> 00:05:16,771
天哪

74
00:05:17,358 --> 00:05:19,858
操,搞那麼急幹什麼!

75
00:05:20,611 --> 00:05:24,991
三秒鐘就要想出搞怪點子?太難了!

76
00:05:24,991 --> 00:05:27,121
天哪,老爸

77
00:05:27,118 --> 00:05:28,448
我急了,好吧

78
00:05:28,453 --> 00:05:30,583
被這個紫色羽毛嗆到了

79
00:05:30,580 --> 00:05:34,000
一支紫色羽毛,我能拿來幹什麼?

80
00:05:36,252 --> 00:05:38,172
可以扮飛來波女郎哦

81
00:05:38,171 --> 00:05:39,211
扮什麼?

82
00:05:39,213 --> 00:05:41,383
就那種1920年的舞女啊

83
00:05:41,382 --> 00:05:43,132
操!我還不如扮恐龍仔班尼呢

84
00:05:43,134 --> 00:05:45,724
-怎麼扮?
-這個當班尼的頭髮啊

85
00:05:45,720 --> 00:05:48,260
“看啊,我是班尼
這是班尼的頭髮”

86
00:05:48,264 --> 00:05:50,734
-班尼又沒頭髮
-你閉嘴行不?

87
00:05:50,725 --> 00:05:54,015
它是布做的,布上有毛
那不就是頭髮嗎

88
00:05:55,104 --> 00:05:56,614
它連嘴裡都長毛呢

89
00:05:56,606 --> 00:05:59,316
它是布做的!布上都是毛

90
00:06:00,109 --> 00:06:01,739
搞什麼怪嘛

91
00:06:01,736 --> 00:06:05,776
-生意的事情都夠我頭大的了
-你說什麼呢?

92
00:06:05,782 --> 00:06:09,872
班尼有頭髮,把那破眼鏡給我
我們再拍一次

93
00:06:09,869 --> 00:06:11,329
你去哪?

94
00:06:11,329 --> 00:06:14,669
去休息!反正我已經跟主角拍過了

95
00:06:14,665 --> 00:06:17,915
-我喜歡剛剛拍的
-那是因為你沒有生意上的煩惱

96
00:06:17,919 --> 00:06:21,419
當然有!多了!有15個
投資人想要我的"牌令球”呢

97
00:06:21,422 --> 00:06:23,222
“牌令球”是什麼鬼?

98
00:06:23,216 --> 00:06:24,256
是個遊戲

99
00:06:24,258 --> 00:06:25,588
-聽起來可不好玩
-行啊

100
00:06:25,593 --> 00:06:28,853
巴特李跟我吃了六頓飯了
不好玩才怪!

101
00:06:28,846 --> 00:06:31,096
-巴特李是誰?
-聽說過約翰李斯特嗎?

102
00:06:31,099 --> 00:06:33,179
-æ²’
-你對遊戲界一無所知

103
00:06:33,184 --> 00:06:35,194
會玩算什麼本事

104
00:06:37,605 --> 00:06:39,315
停!我讓你停!

105
00:06:39,315 --> 00:06:41,435
不許再跳了!

106
00:06:41,442 --> 00:06:43,112
停下!

107
00:06:43,111 --> 00:06:45,031
-停下!
-別再跳了!

108
00:06:45,029 --> 00:06:47,199
-我什麼都沒幹!
-給我停!

109
00:06:47,198 --> 00:06:48,568
好

110
00:06:53,871 --> 00:06:55,581
是吧?

111
00:06:55,581 --> 00:06:57,381
住得近就是好

112
00:06:57,375 --> 00:07:01,245
是啊,我一聽他們在
克利夫蘭開會就好高興

113
00:07:01,254 --> 00:07:03,924
我不用出差,走路就能到

114
00:07:03,923 --> 00:07:06,133
還能在家開派對

115
00:07:07,176 --> 00:07:11,216
難得在週六早上不用
一大早送孩子去足球班

116
00:07:12,181 --> 00:07:14,811
他們很喜歡足球,就是我...

117
00:07:15,351 --> 00:07:17,401
好了,我又來了,一聊就聊孩子

118
00:07:18,146 --> 00:07:19,726
-是啊
-幫個忙

119
00:07:19,730 --> 00:07:21,730
下次記得提醒我

120
00:07:21,732 --> 00:07:22,902
-確實
-謝了

121
00:07:22,900 --> 00:07:24,610
-會的
-沒問題

122
00:07:24,610 --> 00:07:26,030
好了

123
00:07:26,028 --> 00:07:27,608
你們有沒有去過...

124
00:07:30,199 --> 00:07:31,659
放心吧

125
00:07:32,827 --> 00:07:34,787
-好
-知道我想去哪個嗎?

126
00:07:35,538 --> 00:07:36,538
放心

127
00:07:37,081 --> 00:07:39,881
你再也不用聊孩子了

128
00:07:43,379 --> 00:07:45,299
-一起去啊
-好啊

129
00:07:46,632 --> 00:07:50,012
-西部海岸的雪更好
-呃、我年紀大啦

130
00:07:50,011 --> 00:07:52,101
怕拉傷韌帶

131
00:07:52,096 --> 00:07:53,966
不過我的孩子最愛滑雪了

132
00:07:53,973 --> 00:07:57,143
我女兒穿一套小滑雪裝,滑得飛快

133
00:07:57,143 --> 00:08:00,983
嘿,大家看我!我在騎狗喔!

134
00:08:07,904 --> 00:08:10,574
你還真是總是這樣喔,是吧?

135
00:08:10,573 --> 00:08:11,953
-哪樣?
-三句話不離孩子啊

136
00:08:11,949 --> 00:08:15,619
為了制止你,我都得裝作騎狗了

137
00:08:17,747 --> 00:08:19,207
沒事

138
00:08:20,124 --> 00:08:23,254
別他媽的再連累我了!

139
00:08:25,463 --> 00:08:26,803
《金錢塔》裡的

140
00:08:27,381 --> 00:08:28,801
喂,別煩我的狗!

141
00:08:28,799 --> 00:08:30,589
好啦,別煩我的狗了

142
00:08:30,593 --> 00:08:32,053
讓開

143
00:08:32,053 --> 00:08:34,063
-不錯啊
-邁阿密很不錯

144
00:08:34,055 --> 00:08:37,515
-他們的夜店文化
-是不錯,我去年春天去過

145
00:08:37,517 --> 00:08:39,057
自己去的?

146
00:08:40,603 --> 00:08:43,733
-帶孩子去的
-操!

147
00:08:43,731 --> 00:08:44,771
大家看過來!

148
00:08:58,329 --> 00:08:59,579
-å–‚!
-å–‚!

149
00:08:59,580 --> 00:09:01,790
-你幹嘛啊?
-我又沒聊他們的事

150
00:09:01,791 --> 00:09:03,711
聊了,我長著耳朵的好吧

151
00:09:03,709 --> 00:09:06,999
-你沒必要這樣啊
-我這人言出必行

152
00:09:07,505 --> 00:09:09,665
好了,散開,夠了

153
00:09:11,676 --> 00:09:13,296
這什麼人啊?

154
00:09:13,302 --> 00:09:15,512
哇,我有在電報上關注你老婆哦

155
00:09:16,472 --> 00:09:20,062
你孩子好可愛喔
你女兒叫什麼來著?

156
00:09:21,561 --> 00:09:23,731
-我不能說
- V打頭的對吧?

157
00:09:23,729 --> 00:09:25,309
-別說了
-å•Š?

158
00:09:25,982 --> 00:09:28,992
-是啊,她叫維嘉
-操他媽!

159
00:09:30,361 --> 00:09:32,861
嘿,大家看啊
狗狗在給我吹簫喔

160
00:09:38,578 --> 00:09:40,998
大家看啊,狗狗在給我吹簫喔

161
00:09:43,332 --> 00:09:44,292
搞什麼啊你?

162
00:09:44,292 --> 00:09:48,002
為了阻止你聊孩子
害我要不停出洋相!

163
00:09:48,004 --> 00:09:49,964
這下我成了派對明星了!

164
00:09:49,964 --> 00:09:52,554
-哈?
-這下大家都想學我了

165
00:09:52,550 --> 00:09:53,550
我也來

166
00:09:53,551 --> 00:09:57,851
他們老是跑來找我問:
“接下來要發什麼神經?”

167
00:09:57,847 --> 00:10:00,927
除了孩子,你人生中
就沒什麼好玩的啦?

168
00:10:00,933 --> 00:10:01,933
我盡力

169
00:10:01,934 --> 00:10:03,194
大點力好吧!

170
00:10:03,185 --> 00:10:05,305
我都變成派對明星了!

171
00:10:08,024 --> 00:10:11,324
剛聊到洗澡,就收到香皂廣告了

172
00:10:11,319 --> 00:10:15,779
我讀個新聞,旁邊就不停地
有汪汪隊便當盒廣告

173
00:10:15,781 --> 00:10:17,411
那你肯定也有孩子

174
00:10:17,408 --> 00:10:19,618
-這個啊...
-接下來幹什麼好?

175
00:10:19,619 --> 00:10:22,079
不要又是跳舞喔

176
00:10:22,079 --> 00:10:24,039
-我想不到了
-做點什麼嘛

177
00:10:24,040 --> 00:10:25,120
消停一點!

178
00:10:27,293 --> 00:10:29,053
我們聊點別的吧

179
00:10:29,045 --> 00:10:30,755
聊什麼?

180
00:10:34,925 --> 00:10:36,965
你做過最離譜的事是什麼?

181
00:10:38,095 --> 00:10:39,255
噢,哇

182
00:10:41,766 --> 00:10:42,676
好吧

183
00:10:42,683 --> 00:10:45,523
於是我被困在這位指導員的大腿中間

184
00:10:45,519 --> 00:10:47,439
他還長得好像艾迪范海倫

185
00:10:47,438 --> 00:10:48,728
我看著他,然後說

186
00:10:48,731 --> 00:10:51,901
“我有點緊張啊”
他說:“緊張是對的

187
00:10:51,901 --> 00:10:53,741
我們的車開太快了”

188
00:10:55,863 --> 00:10:59,373
你們啊,別再煩我的狗了
不要再拿我的狗出洋相了

189
00:10:59,367 --> 00:11:01,237
-別煩我的狗了
-推它看看

190
00:11:01,243 --> 00:11:03,003
-不要!
-那我們去推墻?

191
00:11:02,995 --> 00:11:06,115
-推墻幹什麼啊?
-那我們幹什麼!

192
00:11:06,123 --> 00:11:07,543
不如倒立?

193
00:11:07,541 --> 00:11:09,381
不知道,讓我想想

194
00:11:10,670 --> 00:11:11,590
想快點!

195
00:11:11,587 --> 00:11:13,127
都是抄襲黑澤明的

196
00:11:13,130 --> 00:11:14,380
瞎說

197
00:11:14,382 --> 00:11:16,132
-我能說服你
-那你說

198
00:11:16,133 --> 00:11:18,803
-給你20秒
-哇,這麼認真

199
00:11:18,803 --> 00:11:21,103
激起我的好勝心了
我就是這麼認真的

200
00:11:22,139 --> 00:11:24,599
-我要再喝一杯
-喝一杯!

201
00:11:24,600 --> 00:11:26,940
是我要喝,自己喝!

202
00:11:26,936 --> 00:11:28,806
大家都去自己喝!

203
00:11:28,813 --> 00:11:31,323
你站那裡,你站那裡

204
00:11:31,315 --> 00:11:33,355
你站太近了

205
00:11:33,359 --> 00:11:36,239
我跟你說,我當年最會看眼色了

206
00:11:36,237 --> 00:11:38,487
我們住的地方,不會打架可不行

207
00:11:38,489 --> 00:11:39,779
能想象

208
00:11:40,324 --> 00:11:43,084
我跟你說,你的工作表現不錯

209
00:11:43,702 --> 00:11:45,002
多謝,老闆

210
00:11:45,663 --> 00:11:47,463
會做又會玩,不錯哈

211
00:11:49,834 --> 00:11:52,094
-你說我們下一步幹什麼?
-不知道

212
00:11:52,086 --> 00:11:53,706
這樣如何?

213
00:11:53,712 --> 00:11:55,012
這樣好不好?

214
00:11:56,090 --> 00:11:58,680
不要,等我想一想,我來想

215
00:11:59,343 --> 00:12:02,103
昨天我生日,43歲了

216
00:12:02,096 --> 00:12:04,056
-生日快樂
-我弟弟41

217
00:12:04,682 --> 00:12:06,392
我再過10天生日

218
00:12:11,647 --> 00:12:14,567
-你在發什麼信息?
-沒什麼

219
00:12:14,567 --> 00:12:16,937
-別拉我!
-讓我看看

220
00:12:17,528 --> 00:12:18,698
別煩我,走開!

221
00:12:18,696 --> 00:12:21,526
-讓我想想!
-我們去搞點事吧

222
00:12:21,532 --> 00:12:23,452
-我不想再跳舞了
-嘿,朋友

223
00:12:24,952 --> 00:12:27,412
我想跟你說,我今晚玩得很開心

224
00:12:27,955 --> 00:12:29,785
不聊孩子果然很爽

225
00:12:29,790 --> 00:12:31,710
真棒,幫到你我很高興

226
00:12:31,709 --> 00:12:33,749
跟大家打成一片的感覺真好

227
00:12:33,752 --> 00:12:36,632
以前我也整天聊孩子

228
00:12:36,630 --> 00:12:38,630
三句話不離孩子

229
00:12:38,632 --> 00:12:41,972
你一天到晚聊你兒子

230
00:12:41,969 --> 00:12:44,559
結果有一天他跑到公園裡

231
00:12:45,139 --> 00:12:47,479
手伸進欄杆

232
00:12:47,475 --> 00:12:49,685
把大猩猩“哥斯拉”射死了

233
00:12:51,896 --> 00:12:54,266
-å•Š?
-一隻叫“哥斯拉”的大猩猩

234
00:12:54,273 --> 00:12:56,903
它會表演咬帽子

235
00:12:57,651 --> 00:12:58,781
他幹嘛要射死它?

236
00:12:58,777 --> 00:13:02,197
他太喜歡它了,可能是
想把它的命也據為己有吧

237
00:13:02,907 --> 00:13:05,197
這也是為什麼我這麼心疼自己的狗

238
00:13:06,160 --> 00:13:10,500
有這麼個兒子,我對
這世界的動物傷害已經夠大了

239
00:13:13,083 --> 00:13:14,383
明白

240
00:13:15,127 --> 00:13:16,497
謝了

241
00:13:16,504 --> 00:13:17,424
好吧

242
00:13:20,799 --> 00:13:22,469
嘿

243
00:13:22,468 --> 00:13:24,718
抱歉啦

244
00:13:24,720 --> 00:13:28,970
我不該說你是馬
也不該說你在給我吹簫

245
00:13:30,476 --> 00:13:31,596
這個怎麼樣?

246
00:14:18,774 --> 00:14:20,694
字幕翻譯:王明霞