If it's Wednesday night, that means it's Barley Tonight,
the no-holds-barred debate show with your host, Barch Barley.
Tune in to watch Barley spar with experts
from the worlds of politics, sports, and pop culture.
I never met a fight I didn't like.
Isn't that the whole point?
You have to know how crazy you sound right now.
Right? He sounds crazy, doesn't he?
On my show, nothing's off-limits. Fighting's a lost art.
But if I smell blood, I go in for the kill.
And if you start to win,
I go on my phone.
Where do you think that money comes from? Taxes.
I don't know where you think it comes from. The bank?
- Barley, I just-- - Hold on. I gotta do something fast.
- What the fuck? - Is everything all right?
Not sure.
I'll size you up and I'll cut you down.
If you're getting the best of me,
I have no problem being on my phone the whole show.
- Impossible to keep gas prices this high. - Exactly the point I made.
Fuck!
- Bar-- - Hold on.
Gotta do something for my mom. She's not getting any hot water.
- Well, one thing I-- - Hold on.
It's crazy at her house. Hold on.
Is she okay?
- Barley? - Can't take a shower.
I have so much stuff on my phone.
Music, apps, games, obviously. A medieval game, obviously.
Obviously a jousting game.
I have no problem being on my phone for hours.
I love my phone. I even have an alarm on my phone.
What are you doing?
- Don't cough.
I have the newest phone. It's black and I have a black case for it.
It looks really cool.
I have everything on this phone. I always just look at it.
If I ever feel weird at all, I'm just looking at it.
I know there's a new phone coming soon.
But I'm not worried about it at all.
Because I know I can take all the stuff from my old phone
and put it on my new phone, as long as I'm updated.
I'm putting the photos from here on my computer.
That way, when the new phone comes out,
I can put them on that phone from the computer.
Even if something goes crazy,
I'll still have those photos on the computer, safe and sound.
- Admit that I won. - Let me look at this!
You're just embarrassed because you thought--
No, my mom's getting robbed.
- And she's texting you about it. - The guys are.
What are they texting?
Sent me a picture of her tied up with an apple in her mouth.
Let her go.
I love how this phone works.
Okay, so building a good team in business is like building any team.
- Even the Cardinals.
For example, uh, Susan.
And Tina. They have a shorthand.
You might want to put them on the same team together.
Right? Now on the other hand, let's say if, uh,
Rick and Stan are absolute mortal enemies,
you probably don't want them on the same team. All right?
- Hate you, Rick. - You too, Stan.
Exactly. See? Wouldn't be a good idea.
You wanna keep close tabs
on interpersonal relationships in the workplace.
- Now-- - Fuckin' Rick.
Looks like these guys have something going on.
Yeah. Maybe he walked in on me in a dream when I was about to have an orgy
and he wrecked it.
Could be different reasons.
- Yeah. - Good. Okay.
So, moving forward,
uh, you've got a solid handle on these individual personalities
and abilities of your core team.
You can start to delegate tasks...
Why the hell did you have to walk in on my orgy, you fucker?
All right.
...and trust takes time, right?
- So don't fret if things take a while.
- Hey, mortal enemy. - Okay? Need to be nurtured.
You can't just set and forget them, no matter how talented you people are.
I'm so pissed off.
But don't suffocate your squad with constant hovering or micromanaging.
Stop.
Make sure everyone's short and long-term goals
are laid out clearly and reasonably.
Even then, things won't always come out the way you want.
- Sometimes you're gonna have to step in... - Stop.
When you find your team in troubled waters...
- Stop. - No.
Stan, stop it.
- Knock it the fuck off! - Hey! What the hell's going on here?
He's acting like he's throwing fake water at us.
- What? - Because you said we're mortal enemies,
and I didn't wanna say I wrecked his orgy.
Not why. I'm doing it because they tell me to stop.
- Then stop doing it! - I'll do it more!
- Stop! - Stan!
Stan, that's enough!
- Stop it! - Stop!
I'm just gonna keep doing it.
You wanna do it, let's do it!
- Alex! - Alex!
What are you doing?
- Alex! - I'm so tired of this!
Everything's out of control!
What is even going on? My life is out of control.
I just take everything way too far.
I got too hyper.
And now you're more in trouble than me, unfortunately.
Yeah.
It's okay.
- Yeah. - Yeah.
- You got me with the water pretty bad.
Nah, nah, nah.
Nah. It's just that mine didn't have any water in it.
And yours did. And then, plus, you pulled my hair plugs.
That's why mine was funny and everyone's mad at you.
I can't believe all that happened 'cause the teacher.
I'm not a teacher.
Wow!
♪ Baby, baby, baby, baby, bay-bay-bay ♪
♪ Whoa, baby, baby, bay-bay-bay ♪
Last week on Summer Loving...
Megan was torn between sending home two of the summer lovers.
Alexander and Ronnie, please step forward.
Find out whose summer break is over on this week's Summer Loving.
Twenty-four eligible men spend summer break with one beautiful woman
to see if a summer fling will turn into summer love.
Alexander, on our kayaking date earlier,
I feel like there were a lot of awkward pauses.
I know we had an instant attraction,
but I'm starting to think we don't have enough in common
for you to be... the one.
And Ronnie, I feel like you're just here for the zip line.
What?
All you do all day is go on the zip line.
I like that you can drop into the pool. I'm trying to remember.
You were never joining us at any of the group meals
and when you were reprimanded and asked to join us,
you ate as fast as you could.
- How do you think your connection is? - Good.
And you've gotten into several fights with Mike
from Adventure 365, who runs the zip line.
Just too excited.
He's too rough on the rope.
- Shut up, Mike. - He pulls.
He wrenches on the rope.
- He thinks it's his. - Shut up, Mike.
- You yanked on the rope hard. - I said shut up.
And is it true that when you found out I was upset about the zip line,
you started spreading rumors about your fellow summer lovers?
I sincerely believe Cody is a drug addict.
Cody says he's never touched a drug.
Well, that's what I believe.
Megan, before you decide whether to send me home or not,
I just want you to know Carmelo said your face looks like a clock.
I never said that.
I just don't wanna go home.
What's waiting for me at home is really bad.
What's waiting at home?
I don't know.
When I get home, there's something I'm worried about about my life.
- What is it? - I don't know.
- Is there really something? - I don't know.
I just really wanna be here. I love you.
Is it true, when having beers with Kenny,
you told him it was your dream to be alone?
- It's not true. - I just wanna be alone forever.
Before you make your decision, I just want you to know
I believe Carlos is a ho.
♪ I may falter... ♪
Unfortunately, Ronnie...
♪ You said this would happen... ♪
...our summer fling is over.
Aww!
- Should pack your things and go. - You sure?
Aww!
Mike?
Tony? Come here.
- What's up, Dad? - Have a seat, please.
You guys have really been extremely rude and disrespectful to me lately.
But I think I have something that might help.
Loser.
What's that?
You say something to me?
- Yeah. I called you a loser. - Yeah, I'm a stranger.
Don't talk like that.
If you're a stranger, I can call you what I want.
What is this?
It's a video of me beating up a kid.
It looks really fake.
But it's real.
- That doesn't look like a kid.
I thought it would look fucking real. Goddammit!
You kids have been so nasty to me lately.
I had to do something.
- How'd you make it? - It's a company. Street Sets.
It's a warehouse downtown. They've got different street scene sets.
Pointless 'cause you don't think it's real.
You can tell it's an old man.
Stomp my foot.
Fucking Street Sets! I paid 15k for this.
- Who were you gonna say filmed this? - Brian.
- From work? - Yeah, Brian Cambridge.
- Thrash me around. - This part looks like shit.
- Say you're sorry! - No!
That guy was going nuts.
Kept saying if the stunts looked good, he can get into Jump Junkies.
I said, "I don't care how this helps you."
- Dad-- - Fucking Street Sets!
I thought you'd think this was fucking real!
We love you, Dad.
We shouldn't have danced in the kitchen when you had your stuff on the island.
We know you were really stressed organizing stuff on the marble.
Thank you, boys.
- Got something you wanna say? - I'm sowwy, mister.
Brian, you were filming this whole thing?
God, this sucks!
♪ This must be my day now ♪
Hey, everyone, Kathy won't be in today.
She got a DUI coming home from the office happy hour.
- Oh my God. - Because she was at a work social event,
I feel I have to remind you all to be responsible.
- Thank God she's okay. - Yeah.
God, so scary.
If anybody ever feels they've had too much to drink
and they still need to drive,
here's my number.
No judgment. I mean it. I will pick you up wherever, whenever.
It's good to see you, dude.
- I had a blast. - You good to drive?
- I should be fine. - Get home safe.
Later.
Hey, man. Appreciate you picking me up.
Not a problem. Glad you called.
Glad you got out safe. You did the right thing.
♪ I've traveled far I've traveled wide ♪
♪ So many miles I'm bleary-eyed ♪
♪ Still I get no place with you ♪
You got behind the wheel. Could've been bad.
- Yeah, well, thanks. - Fuck!
They're trying to make it look fake! Goddammit!
- Make what look fake?
The hat and the cigar. You're driving with the Driving Crooner, baby.
♪ Mmm ♪
♪ Continental travel... ♪
Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! They're trying to make it look fake!
- Slow down! - Gotta be next to me for it to look real.
You gotta be right next to me. Everybody tries to make it look fake.
Fuckers. Bet you didn't know you were with the Driving Crooner, did you?
- Or working with the Driving Crooner. - No, I didn't know you... do this.
Oh, yeah, I do this.
I own this.
- You own what? - Thedrivingcrooner.com, baby.
Don't ya love it?
I gotta figure out how to make money on this thing. It's simply too good.
The dream is to have five cars going state-wide.
- Watch out for this guy. - Fuck!
- He's trying to steal my decals! - What the hell are you doing?
Sorry. Thought he was trying to steal my decals.
He was walking his dog.
Walking to the car, trying to rip the hat off, the cigar off.
Why would he do that?
I don't know.
Some people hate this, James.
I don't know what it is, but they fuckin' hate it.
There's people that wanna kill me, James.
They want to kill you? For doing the Driving Crooner?
- Yeah. - Jesus.
Gotta figure how to make money on this! I really want to!
Hey, what do you think of Richard from work?
He's got that big Cadillac.
I could just slap the sticker on the side. He'd be a perfect Driving Crooner.
- That would generate revenue. - Yeah, man. May... maybe.
Yeah! Yes, James!
♪ Gonna need help from up above... ♪
Fuck! Fucking hell!
- Fuck! Oh no! - What?
- Frat boys. Try and run us off the road. - What?
Roll up the window.
- There's nothing on it. - Oh, we know what's on it.
- There's no stickers on it. - Yes, there is.
I'm gonna kill you.
I'm gonna fucking kill you, Driving Crooner!
Are you all right?
I'm so sick of this.
Why do they hate it so much?
When I was a kid,
I fell into a river and a fish bumped me out.
I was supposed to die.
But a fish bumped me out with its nose.
That was the earth telling me I'm supposed to do something great.
And I know that's the Driving Crooner. It has to be.
You know what I mean, James?
I'm so sick of this!
♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah Yeah, yeah, yeah ♪
♪ Oh ♪
♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah Yeah, yeah, yeah ♪
♪ Yeah ♪
Zanin Corp.